Hi Men,
In 2023, the transgender explosion just won’t go away. It is still seeking to seduce troubled teen girls struggling to fit in during the turbulent years of puberty into thinking that their problems will be solved by claiming to have a “male” identity, even though their physical body resists this delusion every step they take down this destructive path. This episode from 2021 is a reminder of what is really going on, and what Christian leaders and parents need to do about it.
A few years ago, while having lunch with a Marine Corps officer at Quantico, he said, “My 12- year-old daughter just told my wife and me that she is transgender. What do you think I should do?” This episode answers the question, “As Christian men, how do we protect the rising generation from the harm they experience through gender confusion while, at the same time, sharing Christ’s love with those seeking to promote this the transgender delusion.”
My Marine friend’s daughter was experiencing what is now called gender dysphoria. Five years earlier, her condition would have been called GID—gender identity disorder. But caving to the left’s pressure, in 2013 the American Psychiatric Association changed the term, gender identity disorder to gender dysphoria. As today’s culture loses its biblical roots, being transgender is now mistakenly seen as a positive identity. The result is that those with this confusion, who are in deep emotional turmoil because they don’t feel like they fit their gender-stereotype, are not given the help they desperately need.
This conversation at Quantico was but one in a series of experiences and discussions I had back in 2015. As the men’s ministry coach for my denomination, I had many similar conversations with men who were concerned about the messages being sent by our current culture to our children about sexuality and gender. For example, while channel surfing, a friend who was a high school administrator at the time, came upon a counseling professional who listed seven traits of a boy whose “true identity” was being gay: sensitive, creative, artistic, passive, finds friendship with girls easier than friendships with boys, unathletic, dislikes roughhousing. My friend said, “I could relate to every one of the traits. In today’s world, I might conclude that I am gay and pursue homosexuality. Twenty years ago, I might have been called a sissy. But I am now being urged to pursue homosexuality because I am sensitive, unathletic, and love art and music.”
A colleague who specializes in ministry to the sexually broken advised me, “Gary, let me tell you what is happening on college campuses today. Of course, there is rampant sexual immorality—that has always been the case. But now, freshmen men and women are told that they can’t know if their sexual orientation is heterosexual or homosexual until they try homosexual sex.” Among the dangers of such sexual experimentation is that the imprint of sexual experience stays in the brain, creating a hunger for the same kind of experience. For our gender-confused sons and daughters, taking a few steps down the path of same-sex sexual contact is to step onto a steep slope that often ends in adopting the homosexual life.
A pastor confided to me, “Gary, I am seeing a lot of teen guys at our Christian school, as well as guys who were home schooled, who don’t have the slightest idea what masculinity looks like in their relationships with girls.” Another, added, “Yeah, when my son went to the prom, the girls decided on all of the arrangements—where they would go for dinner, what to do at the after-party, etc. Christian guys today are really passive and unsure of their roles with women.” Meanwhile, from the Christian counseling room, I was repeatedly hearing, “Gary I praise God for today’s renewed efforts at men’s ministry. Ninety percent of the marriage problems I deal with would be solved if men would stop being passive and lead their homes. God’s design of gender roles in marriage is foundational for successful marriage.”
This is just a sample of my numerous conversations with parents who expressed alarm at the way the culture’s gender and sexuality views were shaping their kids.
As a past youth leader, pastor, and father of five kids who’ve traveled through adolescence, I had come to believe that what a child believes about sexuality, gender, and gender roles has a lot to do with shaping the outcome of his or her life. I knew men needed to be the ones to lead the way in shaping their kids with a biblical worldview of sexuality and gender. But how could I expect them to do that, when they had no idea how teen culture was being shaped by the LDBTQ world? So, I devoted 18 months to reading over 30 books, talking extensively with staff at Harvest USA, and writing a book, published in 2018, with this stated purpose:
Equipping Christian adults to understand the culture that is shaping their children’s views of sexuality, so they can help their children respond to the deconstruction of male/female gender identities and roles taking place in our culture with gospel grace towards the sexually broken and with a wholehearted celebration of the biblical teaching of complementarianism.
Its long title is Anchoring Your Child to God’s Truth in a Gender-Confused Culture: Helping Your Children Embrace Their Calling to Godly Manhood or Womanhood.
Knowing how important it was to have credibility concerning ministry in the LGBTQ world and a biblical view of LGBTQ issues, I learned from and then secured the endorsement of Dan Wilson, the Student Director of Harvest USA. Knowing the book needed to be consistent with an inerrant view of Scripture, I asked my denomination, The Presbyterian Church in America, which holds this inerrant view of Scripture to publish it. I mention writing this book because you need know my credentials for addressing this topic over the next few weeks on the Mission Focused Men for Christ Podcast.
This week, in preparing for this series, I heard John Stonestreet, the President of The Colson Center for Christian Worldview, make a simple statement that I believe applies to the rising generation more than it ever has. He said that in today’s world, TO NOT HAVE DISCERNMENT IN THIS CULTURE IS TO BE BRAINWASHED. Without discernment, the power of the social media to brainwash teens is like a tidal wave sweeping up our Christian children and grandchildren and driving them towards devastation in their thinking about gender and sexuality. John reminded us that true, agape love requires knowledge and discernment. Paul says to the Philippian Christians, It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment (Phil 1:9). The episodes in this series are designed to give you knowledge and discernment about 1) what the culture is saying to the rising generation about sexuality and gender, 2) what a biblical worldview response looks like, 3) how to love those in the LGBTQ+ life, 4) how to win the hearts of your children to embrace God’s glorious design of mankind as male and female who complete one another.
Explosion of Gender Dysphoria in Adolescent Girls Over The Past Eight Years
Until just a few years ago, gender dysphoria—severe discomfort in one’s biological sex was astonishingly rare. It was typically found in less that .01 percent of the population, which means that in four out of five high schools in the country there was no one who thought she was a boy, trapped in a girl’s body. Abigail Shirer, a writer for the Wall Street Journal, writes,
Gender dysphoria—formerly known as “gender identity disorder,” typically begins in early childhood—ages two to four—though it may grow more severe in adolescence. But in most cases—nearly 70 percent—childhood gender dysphoria resolves. Historically it afflicted a tiny sliver of the population (roughly .01 percent) and ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY BOYS. Before 2012, in fact, there was no scientific literature on girls ages 11-21 ever having developed gender dysphoria at all. In the last decade that has changed, and dramatically. The Western world has seen a sudden surge in adolescents claiming to have gender dysphoria and self-identifying as “transgender.” For the first time in medical history, natal girls are not only present among those so identifying—they constitute the majority (Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters).
Shirer points out that biological girls who self-identify as trans are very different from lesbians. (Lesbians have no problem with their female body—they just surrender to sinful same-sex romantic and sexual attraction.) Natal girls who identify as trans believe the are boys in a girl’s body. Yet, they make little effort to adopt the stereotypical habits of men. They rarely buy a weight set, watch football, or ogle girls. If they cover themselves with tattoos, they prefer feminine ones—flowers or cartoon animals, something that marks them as something other than stereotypically male…They flee womanhood like a house on fire, their minds fixed on escape, not on a particular destination.
This rapid onset of gender dysphoria among adolescent girls was studied thoroughly by Dr. Lisa Littman, an ob-gyn turned public health researcher. As she considered the origins of “discovering” they were transgender two patterns stood out:
1. First, the clear majority (65%) of the adolescent girls who had discovered transgender identity in adolescence—“out of the blue”—had done so after a period of prolonged social media immersion. There are over ten social media sites and online forums that facilitate the discovery of a trans identity. These include, YouTube, Instagram, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, DeviantArt, and TikTok-- all popular hubs for documenting a physical transformation, seething over transphobia, and celebrating the superpowers conferred by testosterone treatments. Here is a summary of the advice your daughter or granddaughter is likely to receive from them:
- If you think you might be trans, you are.
- Want to try out being trans? Wearing breast binders is a great start.
- Testosterone, or “T” is AMAZING. It may just solve all of your problems.
- If your parents loved you, they would support your trans identity.
- If you are not supported in your trans identity, you’ll probably kill yourself.
- Deceiving parents and doctors is justified. It helps the transition.
- You don’t have to identify as the opposite sex to be trans (Ibid).
2. Dr. Littman points out a second striking pattern. Second, the prevalence of transgender identification within some of the girls’ friend groups was more than 70 times the expected rate. (Ibid). The atypical nature of this dysphoria—occurring in adolescence with no childhood history of it caused her to postulate a hypothesis that is not politically correct. It was caused in part by peer contagion. In other words, these two researchers, who make no claim to being Christians, believe that adolescent gender dysphoria has exploded in the past few years because a percentage of adolescent girls who reject their female bodies have found a peer group (online or in person) that feels the same way.
How Should Christian Adults Respond to This Epidemic of Transgenderism?
1. Realize how much your daughter, or granddaughter needs you to help her be discerning about what she hears in in the culture surrounding her. As our culture has morphed from the industrial age to the information age, what is said in the media and social media is no longer anchored to truth. Whatever message is most loudly and frequently proclaimed on the social media becomes the narrative that is believed. I will say it again. Whatever message is most loudly and frequently proclaimed on the social media becomes the narrative that is believed. That message, even by the news media, no longer has to be anchored to truth. In such a world, no wonder our Christian daughters tell us our views of gender are archaic and the gender roles taught by Paul were never God’s design but shaped by the unjust patriarchal views of Paul’s culture.
2. Weep inside for all the precious daughters of Adam who have been deceived by Satan’s lie that gender is a STATE OF MIND rather than a BIOLOGICAL REALITY. Those who identify as transgender or gay, even the social activists, are not the enemy—they have been enslaved by the enemy. Satan hates God and his image bearers and will do anything to mar the image of the true God reflected in his design of male and female to complete each other. Hearing the stories of the "de-transitioners," those who realize they were pushed down the path of puberty blockers, cross-gender hormones, and gender surgery by gender ideologues and now regre the way they mutilated their bodies, will break your heart.
3. Don’t be naïve about the amount of time many adolescent girls spend on their cell phones (some averages I’ve seen are up to 11 hours a day!) nor about the very significant role in leading adolescent girls into the trans life played by popular trans hubs on YouTube, Instagram, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, DeviantArt, and TikTok.
4. Help our children see that real love for someone, as Paul prayed for the Philippians is always joined at the hip to DISCERNMENT. You can be sure that in today’s culture, your children and grandchildren will be told a thousand times over that a person in a female body who claims to be a man has the right to continue in such a state of gender dysphoria, that to reject her claim to being a boy is to deeply wound her if not cause her to commit suicide. So, our culture must bend to accommodate her delusion. But ask your adolescent daughter what would be the most loving thing to do if her five-year-old brother stood at the top of the stairs telling her he was going to dive head-first down the steps because he could fly? Delusion harms. The delusion that a girl is a boy, but her body just got it wrong is causing some girls to have irreversible “top surgery” even though 82 percent of such girls grow out of gender dysphoria. Their parents are being told she might commit suicide if they try to stop this delusion; but their is zero legitimate evidence that starting down the path of puberty blockers and cross-gender hormones decreases suicidality.
5. Go out of your way during these years to help her bond in a healthy way with close, Christian, female friends. There is overwhelming evidence that those who have found their way into the LGBTQ+ world never felt like they fit in with the friends they had.
6. Teach your kids common grace—that part of being discerning is recognizing the common ground Christians share with those who identify as trans. We need our daughters to understand that most adolescent girls who identify as trans do so because the reject their own femininity. Very often, they don’t fit their own misguided stereotype of femininity and don’t feel like they fit in with other peer groups of girls. We can say, “Yeah, a lot of Christians seem to put traditional straight jackets on males and females. That’s wrong and it isn’t really even biblical." The Bible does teach some basic differences in the way husband a wife complete each other in marriage. But one of the most important biblical truths is how creative God is. He intentionally creates ever girl as unique and every boy as unique. Gender tendencies could be compared to bell shaped curves of adult male height and female height beside each other on the same graph. Part of the curves will overlap. Are males generally taller than females? Yes. Does that mean every male is taller than every female? Of course not. Does that mean it is masculine to be tall? NO. God loves diversity—that is the point. There are clues to godly masculinity and femininity in the Bible. But God designs every female, even with some strengths that might be considered masculine traits because he loves diversity and wants every girl to know she is unique. (He also gives men strengths in traditionally female categories).
7. Accept the challenge as a man in Christ’s church today to lead the way in showing the world the glory of manhood (and if married, your wife godly womanhood) as they were designed by God to be. It means prayerfully equipping the rising generation with confidence that the biblical world view of gender makes much more sense than the fractured views of the LGBTQ+ movement. It also means a life-long commitment to show Jesus to your family members, by reaching out with Christ’s love to the sexually broken whom God brings across your path. When it comes to understanding gender, our kids need our discernment. It is for us to give them that discernment. Authors Owen Strachen and Gavin Peacock, in their great book, The Grand Design point out:
When we trust Christ as our Savior, the beauty of God’s design comes into view. Our conversion opens our eyes to the nature and purpose of our God-given sex. We see the body not as a blunt instrument for our lusts, but as the gift of God for his glorification. We see our relationships with the opposite sex not as a power play, but as an opportunity to serve others in the name of Christ. We see the plan of complementarity, the roles we have the privilege of filling.
For Further Prayerful Thought:
- As you listened to the reasons, Gary wrote Anchoring Your Child to God’s Truth in a Gender-Confused Culture, which ones stood out most to you?
- What stood out to you about the birth and growth of the Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria that started since 2012?
- What would you say to a Christian father who said, “My kids are Christians. They need to learn about masculinity and femininity at church or youth group?”
- Which of the seven take-aways seems most relevant to you.
